


Jokes on You

by KFawkes



Series: Oxford Comma [9]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Kingsman Fusion, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Kingsman Family, Kingsman Training, M/M, Post-Kingsman: The Golden Circle, Post-Kingsman: The Secret Service, Protective Eggsy Unwin, Smitten Eggsy Unwin, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 06:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12337710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KFawkes/pseuds/KFawkes
Summary: Based off a tumblr prompt "Looks like we'll be trapped for awhile..."





	Jokes on You

Right now you’re thinking about how you got into this mess, about why this- a fucking storage closet, was the place you two chose to hide. But mostly you’re thinking about all the terribly inappropriate things you want Eggsy to do to you...

You definitely know you shouldn’t be thinking them, but with a jawline like that and a gaze that frequently seemed to be undressing you; it was really hard to stay focused. 

And where you were right now did not help one fucking bit. No, usually being pressed almost chest to chest with hurried breaths parading your chest invoked a different kind of emotion. 

With how dark it was in there, and with Eggsy so close to you; you couldn’t help but smell his skin. He smelled soft and sweet like pine needles maybe, and as you watch his lips you can’t stop thinking about how badly you just wanted to kiss them. 

There are feet shuffling by outside, and that’s literally the only thing that’s controlling you. Part of you used this time to wonder again why you’d choose a fucking closet of all places to hide... Two Kingsman agents with extensive training hiding in a storage closet. 

It all sounded like the start of some kind of shitty joke, but your life was full of moments like these and you were failing to see the humor.

The quiet patter of feet was unexpected with what Merlin led you to expect. Your target was professor Derek Traynor an astrophysicist, and you were to subdue him after University hours. So here you are a little after 9 at night when you realize Mr. Traynor had some late night guests... 

And rather than knocking out a bunch of harmless teachers... you opted to... hide in the... closet? 

Alright the plan didn’t make a lick of sense, but it just sort of happened? And when Eggsy grabs your hand and pulls you into a closet, you fucking follow him. Thank god you didn’t have to transmit this disaster of a mission to Merlin because this shit was getting bad, even for you.

“Oh, fuck...” You said under your breath as the voice outside started their unexpected meeting. 

“Think we'll be here awhile, luv.” Eggsy whispered to you, leaning close to your ear as he place a hand to the wall by your head in an almost lazy fashion.

If only he knew how many ways you wanted to...

“All thanks to your plan...” You reminded him in a whisper, pursing your lips almost too playfully as you listen to the muffled voices outside the door.

It wouldn’t have been hard to subdue them, no, of course not. You two were flawless together... But they were teachers, not trained, and most definitely not dangerous. The meeting shouldn’t take long... probably. And after that, Mr. Traynor will be easy as cake to snatch up. So you two were just going to have to wait this one out... 

Which, under the circumstances was really fucking hard. 

The circumstances being how badly you wanted him, of course... and it was hard to keep yourself from looking at him in there; especially with how closely he seemed to be inching. The way the specks of light barely lit him through the cracks of the door, the way his hair had fallen slightly out of place... The way his lips sat slightly parted, as they curled into a soft smile. It all only made you want him more.

Eggsy made a habit of standing close to you, and maybe that’s why you were so intoxicated anytime he leaned in, or touched your hands lightly as he pass. It could be any one of the times you woke beside him; with his arms wrapped around you tightly after too long a night planning missions... 

But you had many friends who were touchy, and you yourself were quite affectionate with people you were close with. Even you knew close proximity didn’t always mean something. Looks didn’t necessarily mean anything either... 

You could speculate and fantasize as much as you wanted, but the truth was you didn’t know. And that you wouldn’t know unless you fucking asked or... did something else equally as damaging, like... I don’t know-- kissing him?

Seems a bit extreme especially since you were on a mission, but that’s exactly what you did. 

One second you were listening to the soft sound of his breath at your ear, letting that spiced earthy smell surround you and the next... you grabbed the back of his neck, and pressed your lips to his like a breath of fresh air. 

You weren’t sure whether to be more shocked that you kissed him or that he kissed you back truthfully. And once you could feel him pulling you closer, you pushed into him more; sliding your hands into the back of his hair, pulling his mouth to your neck...

Eggsy knew what he was doing, that became very obvious. He slid his hands up your side and chest with just the right amount of pressure and yearning and you couldn’t help but let out an airy moan, because god damn did he feel good. 

When you turned into him, pushing him into the wall it was clear you’d both forgot where the fuck you were. You tore at his jacket fervidly, sliding your hand down the front of his pants--

And then the fucking door opened. 

You both were like a deer caught in the headlights with eyes widened and shirts half opened amorously. In those split seconds of clarity before the shirt storm of your situation, you thanked the fucking universe that Merlin hadn’t been watching in...

“What in heaven?” A short stout man asked with his jaw so low it was almost to the floor, he pulled his glasses from his pocket and began placing them to his face with hurried fingers. 

“Uh... Sir... we’re, just--” You started as you hurriedly pulled your shirt closed, as you tidied your hair and anxiously wiped your mouth. 

It wasn’t often you forgot who and what you were... But in your fluster you reverted back to that blubbering 16 year old that made excuses like it were a hobby.

“Interns, sir. Just interns.” Eggsy seemed to be having a similar experience as you were, because for some reason he went along with the charade offering his own brand of cover. 

Here you were, explaining your situation to the man you were essentially nicking like frightened children. This joke even you had to admit was a little funny...

Mr. Traynor crossed his arms as he leaned into a heel narrowing his eyes on you two before starting again; this time with apprehension lining his voice. “For whom?”

“Uhm...” Eggsy said as he swallowed, pulling his eyebrows about as he search for an answer. 

For being one of the Kingsman’s best agents, he sure was not acting the part right now. When the professor slanted his eyes suspiciously Eggsy pursed his lips in disappointment, switched his watch to amnesia and pointed it at the man. “Sorry bout this, bruv.”

You watched as he fell to the floor in a loud thud, holding your bottom lip between your teeth nervously. “Okay.” 

As you look down at Mr. Traynor you began nodding far too assuredly; but the only thing you did know for sure, was that there was no coming back from this. “Well... at least we can get him out of here... easier? Right?” 

Except, there was nothing easy about carrying a man out of a college Uni in the middle of the night. And there as nothing easy about you two... Alright the first might be a bit easier to control, but the second? The second one you didn’t even know where to start. 

At this point you didn’t want to look at Eggsy because you’d literally been seconds from having ripped off all his clothing in the middle of a fucking mission. Right now if you could think of literally anything but that, you’d have been happy. Every part of you wished this was one of those high stress missions instead... that you had some baddies to shoot or something equally distracting.

Only you didn’t. What you had was a passed out professor and someone you weren’t ready to admit you needed.

Eggsy didn’t seem as disheveled as you were though, which was about as surprising as what had just happened. He looked calm, cool and far more collected than you were. Just like he always did, and for a second you weren’t sure if you just made all of it up.

When you couldn’t decide, you slid your hand to your mouth lightly covering it as you pull your other arm to rest on you hip. “Let’s call Merlin, then?”

“Don’t feel like talkin’?” Eggsy asked ignoring your question as he pulled his tie to its normal spot at the base of his neck; all the while sending you the same look from before... That same sure and confident look, like he could spend hours getting lost in you.

“Not sure it’s the time for that...” You replied as you turn slightly taking a step away. 

“He ain’t goin’ no where, and Merlin can wait.” His reply was quick, but thought out somehow and delivered deliberately with the smallest smile. The voice he used was smooth and lined with insinuation as he look to your lips when he finish. “Think we needa talk bout this, luv...”

“Someone could see us... see him.” You protested only slightly, knowing no one else was coming. But you said it anyway, because that may have been fun, but the conversation he wanted to have most definitely wouldn’t be. 

“Ain’t you s’pposed to be good at this?” Eggsy tiled his head lightly, sending you the softest pair of eyes you’d ever seen as he took a step towards you. When he did you felt a cascade of butterflies erupting low in your stomach sending ripples across every surface of your body.

“You’re cheekier today...” Was all you managed to get out, because there really wasn’t anything to say that he didn’t already know. So you just locked your eyes on his as he creep closer to you.

“Was you always plannin’ on kissin’ me like that?” He asked again, the amount of fun he was having seeped through his undertones, and now he was only inches from your face again sporting a boyish grin. 

When you watched the way his brows raised, and the curve of his lips you realized there was no use in being modest anymore. No use in pretending there wasn't something going on anymore either. No use in pretending this big fucking joke didn’t just land you the best person you’d ever met... 

Plus, now that Eggsy had just felt you up, had his tongue in our mouth... There really wasn’t much use in denying your feelings any longer, right?  
Right. So you stood straight, crossed your arms and leaned your face closer to his. “Got tired of waiting for you to do it.” 

There was a certain air of confidence when you spoke that surprised the both of you. You watched a smile fully spread as he let out a short laugh then ran his tongue lightly to the corner of his mouth clearly enjoying the display before him. 

“Guess I better stop fuckin’ about then, yeah?” After a second he placed his hands to either side of your face pulling you in again, and when he did it felt like fucking fireworks. 

There were plenty of other things you should be thinking about, plenty of things you should be doing... Not kissing Eggsy next to an unconscious man during a mission for starters, but here you were: the butt of your own joke, and finally seeing the humor in it.


End file.
